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In New York, your child’s preference could impact custody arrangements, but with limits. Courts allow children to express a preference, and more mature children whose reasoning the court finds genuine tend to carry more weight with the judge, regardless of age. However, no child gets the final say. When a child old enough to form an opinion speaks up about which parent they prefer, it can feel like the most important piece of evidence in the case. Yet, the court’s obligation is to serve the child’s best interests, not simply grant their wishes. A Garden City child custody attorney at The Saul Law Firm can help you prepare for how your child’s preference may shape your case and what steps to take next.
How New York Courts Weigh a Child’s Preference
New York does not set a specific age at which a child earns the right to choose which parent to live with. Under the best interests of the child standard that governs all custody proceedings, a child’s preference is one factor the court may consider, but it is never dispositive. Children of any age may be heard, but very young children’s stated preferences are often given little or no weight, while a child who can reason through and clearly explain their wishes will generally carry more influence.
Judges assess each child individually, looking at maturity, reasoning ability, and whether the child can articulate thoughtful reasons for the preference. A teenager who explains that they want to stay near their Garden City school and friends will generally carry more influence than a younger child who simply says they like one parent’s house better. Courts also scrutinize whether a parent has coached or pressured the child, because a preference shaped by parental alienation or coercion undermines the reliability of the child’s stated wishes.
What Is a Lincoln Hearing?
When a judge wants to hear directly from a child, New York courts use a procedure known as a Lincoln hearing. Named after the 1969 New York Court of Appeals case Matter of Lincoln v. Lincoln, this process allows a judge to interview the child privately in chambers rather than requiring testimony in open court. Only the judge, the child’s attorney (known as the attorney for the child), and a court reporter are present. Neither parent nor their attorneys may attend.
The purpose is to create a space where the child can speak freely without feeling caught between two parents. The judge asks questions designed to understand the child’s daily routine, relationships with each parent, and reasons behind any preference. Whether the child speaks under oath depends on the judge’s assessment of whether the child understands the difference between truth and untruth and appreciates the importance of telling the truth, which is more often the case with older children.
A Lincoln hearing does not guarantee that the judge will follow the child’s wishes. It simply gives the court a clearer picture of the child’s perspective to weigh alongside every other factor in the case.
What Other Factors Does the Court Consider?
A child’s preference is just one piece of the puzzle. Under the best interests of the child standard codified in Domestic Relations Law Section 240 and developed through decades of New York case law, courts evaluating custody consider a broad range of circumstances, including:
- The child’s age, maturity, and preference, with more weight given when the child is older and able to express a reasoned view
- Each parent’s ability to provide for the child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs on a day-to-day basis
- The stability of each home environment, including housing, school district, and community ties in areas like Garden City and across Nassau County
- The quality of the child’s relationship with each parent, siblings, and other household members
- Each parent’s past caregiving role and day-to-day involvement, including medical care, school participation, homework, and extracurriculars
- Any history of one parent interfering with the other parent’s visitation or communication with the child
- Each parent’s willingness to encourage a healthy relationship between the child and the other parent, including cooperation on parenting time, communication, and compliance with any court-ordered visitation arrangements
- Any history of domestic violence, substance abuse, or neglect, which the court treats as a serious safety concern
A parent’s history as the child’s day-to-day caregiver is one factor the court considers alongside all others. New York does not apply any automatic preference for the primary caregiver. Courts also look at each parent’s work schedule, mental and physical health, and willingness to cooperate on parenting time and visitation arrangements. When parents live in different parts of Long Island or New York City, practical concerns like commute times and proximity to the child’s school also factor into the decision.
How The Saul Law Firm Can Help With Your Garden City Custody Case
Custody disputes are deeply personal, and understanding how a court will interpret your child’s preference requires experienced guidance. At The Saul Law Firm, Gail B. Saul brings years of dedicated family law experience to every custody matter, helping parents in Garden City and throughout Nassau County build cases grounded in what courts actually look for in a custody dispute. Contact us today for a confidential consultation so we can help you protect your child’s well-being and your parental rights.